Bizarre Poetry Gig #1


(There have been others – but this is the first that I’m documenting)


The Indoor Gig in a Bookshop

Oh lovely open mic audience
Do take a 15 min break

Relax, stretch your legs
Go to the café
Buy several deluxe Scotch Eggs
while Lindsey & Catherine perform
Musical numbers and poetry
People will need to quiche up in the interval
You are the interlude to their faces full of gourmet food
It’s an Indoor Gig

Our set tends to be dust & filth
The organiser knows that
She’s seen us both before
We manically giggle as we are left to our own devices
as somewhere far far away in the building
Everyone is on a loo break
forking with carrot cake slices.
We sing to skewiff chairs and cardigans
and lonely unthumbed books
about Tits and Jeremy Clarkson
We might well wee ourselves
during this bizarre configuration
Even our accompanied guest has disappearred
to join the cafe locustation
No one would ever notice, applause
or smell
Our pools of mirth
Sinking through the bookshop carpet to the silent earth
So we continue our set in a sort of hysteria disco disorder
Witcherly creating our gig dissatisfaction spell…..
That finally finished off Borders.
(as they went bust soon after our appearance in Oxford)



one lady did suddenly appear at the end and shout Bravo!!  We’re not entirely sure
if she was a figment of our imagination or what we did indeed conjure up….



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