BLIP (Why is it 10p more expensive to travel from Malvern to Ledbury?)

Standard

 

 

When trains relax (after six)
You can purchase your tix
Malvern to Hereford return for £3.50
(good value, economical ,nifty)
Malvern to Ledbury is £3.60
(still reasonable, but 20 or 21 mins CLOSER than Hereford
on a dutifully beautiful perfectly conditioned day)

 

I worry if we DO try to beat (correct) the system
asking for a train to Hereford
in order to save ten principled pennies
Ledbury will dwindle, ceasing to exist.

 

I exist (sort of) therefore I am (hmm)

A bit like an empty jar of strawberry (in the fridge)

with a minuscule whiff of phantom jam

 

THROW IT OUT NOW
ALONG WITH ALL THOSE INEDIBLE CHUTNEY POTS!
THE TOP SHELF OF THE FRIDGE IS NOT
A DISPLAY CABINET FOR VINTAGE MOULDY-FUZZED-
ONCE-WERE-CONSUMABLES, FROM THAT WEIRD
HAMPER YOU OO’d and AH’d ABOUT 5 YEARS AGO!**

 

We all hop off in Ledburyland, assuming sneak mode
Clutching our Hereford tickets with mild adrenalin buzz.
Unfortunately not as a recorded stat
(Malvern, Worcester and Hereford
are the abodes where they’ll think it’s actually at).
And maybe
The train will stop in lovely Ledbury less
as someone sitting far far far away
is considering tiny ticker tickley figures coming in.

 

Why aren’t people buying tickets to Ledbury?
Why aren’t people buying tickets to Ledbury?
Why aren’t people buying tickets to Ledbury?
Why aren’t people buying tickets to Ledbury?
Tra la la la poetry tunnel of 10p tra la la la la 
Why aren’t people buying tickets to Ledbury?
Why aren’t people buying tickets to Ledbury?

 

This will hurt the brain so much
That the bit which houses reasonable common sense
will have an ‘old jar of pent up pickle’ explosion
Leaving a suitable gap for nonsense to creep in
allowing ten silly train combinations
combined with a bizarre pricing structure
to be created.
From this train rupture/eureka meltdown moment,
the whole of the UK will be affected/effected
We’ll ALL need to go to train night classes to fathom
ways in which to go further in order to actually appear closer
A CHOO CHOO BREAKDOWN CHASM!!

 

Sometimes I pay the 10p
Sometimes I don’t
it depends on the conductor’s conduct
and whether they will or won’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 


I got a bit carried away with this one
It was going to be a limerick or similar.
** or up to 10 years 😉
Sweeney Todd lines are sinking in. They would be here a lot faster in my head if it wasn’t for this 10p anomaly.
I blame that train website entirely.
Tickets for Sweeney Todd at The Market Theatre, Ledbury on sale now 🙂
http://themarkettheatre.com/shows/sweeney-todd/

 

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