There’s always one sock that decides to appear
EVERY time you do a wash.
Mine happens to be a baby sock
Such a lovely little sock!
aged 3 months to six.
This sock always wants its time in the adult clothes mix.
It hides in the duvet,
It hides in your sheets.
You decide to dry it
to give it a treat
Then you carefully bung it in the odd sock drawer
(With the 78 others you’ve collected before)
But this baby sock continues to continuously return!
Having a browser in your favourite trouser.
Having a squirt in your shirtless skirt
Having a bubble bath in your double-breasted vast vest
So warm and comfy –Vests is the best!
It’s the bees basket knees
And it gets in your knickers
It gets UP your sleeves’
in that pongy armpit of that engrained stained top you spilt your beer
With its tiny giraffe emblem
And its orange entrance rim
(Ok I lied about the beer- I’m much more into Pimms)
It really is a lovely little sock
It has a secret sock agenda
To go a gallivanting in your undies
(some of which happen to be magenta)
Perhaps I AM going round the benda
Perhaps I should go to the Isle of Lundy
and afterwards pop over to the other Shire to view the Mappa Mundi.
But it’s a lovely little sock
And loves to loll in the left handed cup
on that bra with the wire that projects you onwards, pointy out and up.
I thought the extra padding would certainly be enough!
We know we are lopsided, for all us girls it’s tough
But I don’t need a tiny, but lovely, giraffe stalking sock
to point out my mis-matched boobies
What you actually need – is a spritely spirit level
to line up those dimpled rubies.
I have to finish this Blog post here
Because it suddenly gets quite lewd
Come find me!
See me perform it soon
And I’ll insert a little tune!
© Catherine Crosswell
Tis in progress.